Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Bucket of Doom

Last week, since it was Nora's 3rd birthday and Eric finally got two days off in a row from work, we decided to celebrate by hitting up the Great Wolf Lodge in Wisconsin Dells for a couple days. The first night, we got Nora a Rice Crispy treat the size of her torso. She went to town on that bad boy, which of course is normal for my little garbage disposal. She then passed out on the bed at 7:00 pm and slept til 8:15 the next day. This is not normal for her. It is in fact so outside the realm of anything completely resembling normal that really I should not even be using the word normal in conjunction with this activity. Because the two simply do not belong together. She shattered her previous sleeping record by a good, oh....two gazillion hours. She did wake up eventually, though. Then we continued our shenanigans at the water park and I tried to get a cute picture of both kids together. It didn't work.

The kids had a grand old time, as long as we stayed away from one part of the waterpark. You know how lots of places have those gigantic buckets that dump gallons of water on everyone periodically? And how must kids squeal in delight and scamper around delightedly under the deluge of water? Well, MY kids view this bucket as The Demon Bucket of Evil and Possible Disembowelment and Definite Torture. Once they saw that thing pour water on everyone, they turned and booked the hell out of there and didn't look back. Whenever it was suggested we just go see the bucket, from like 900 feet away, we were met with shrieks of panic until we finally just shut up about the damn bucket and gave up.

So....they found a little slide to play on. A slide that is about the size of the slide at the hotel waterpark a mile away from our house that costs us $5 to go play on. But, why not drive 3 hours and drop a few hundred bucks so the kids could play on a different 2 foot long slide? What else did we really have to do those days, anyway? So they went to town. Tate decided it was his job to direct children down the slide. A kid would climb up the steps, Tate would throw his hand up at said kid as he peered down to the bottom of the slide that was like 3 centimeters away to ensure there were no other children floundering around in the 2 inches of water at the bottom, and then give an authoritative nod to the kid, saying "Ok, you can go now. Have fun and be careful". The kids would look at Tate quizzically, inch past him, and get down the slide as fast as they could. Then Tate would repeat with the next kid. Six thousand times. That's what he did.

While he was doing this, Nora would frolic around and practice her new trick of dramatically belly-flopping into the water and laying face down for a good 5 or 10 seconds, just long enough for everyone around her to think she was dead. She would then hop up, howling with laughter, wipe the water from her eyes and do it again. It was....weird. Sure kept the lifeguards on their toes though. Interspersed with pretending to die a watery death, she would trot up to me and bellow that she wanted to go hooooooome. She didn't liiiiiiike the waterpark. I would tell her tough cookies, she better go have fun and ENJOY HERSELF, DAMMIT, and she would run off to practice the Dead Nora Float again for a few minutes.

So my kids have fun in odd ways. What else can I expect by now, really.

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It's nice to let it all out.