Catching Up

Yes, people, I know it's been two weeks since my last entry. I've gotten frantic, pleading, pathetic phone calls, emails, visits to my front door, death threats, etc, from people going through some serious withdrawal. So rejoice, all ye who read my ramblings.

Things have just been chugging along here. Tate has caused me moments of great joy and extreme despair. The hitting is not getting better. He's like Jackie Chan, only as a bad guy. Which, come to think of it, I don't know if Jackie Chan has ever played. Isn't he always the good guy? He's just such a jolly little fellow. But yeah, Tate...what can I do. I've had more breakdowns over that kid. He's in time out about 3045 times a day. Today, for a fun little example. He woke up around 7:15 and was in his first time out at 7:22. I freaking kid you not. Oh, what a beautiful mooooorning....

He does this thing lately, though, where he'll point at something and say "Asshat, Mama?" So I say "Purse" or "Potato" or "Crack Pipe" (Come on, I'm kidding. We hide the crack pipe in the garage. The roach clip on the other hand....). Then he'll say "Potato! YES!!!" He sounds like Ed McMahon. I keep expecting to hear "HAW HAW HAW" afterwards. And is it weird that I get a strange sense of personal satisfaction when he agrees with me so emphatically? I mean, I could really get that kid to agree to pretty much anything, yet I feel pretty cool when he assures me that I do inded know what I'm talking about and that I'm extremely proficient at identifying random things on my kitchen counter.

Nora has gotten two teeth and is in the procees of acquiring more. She chews on her hand so much I'm suprised it's not a shriveled up nub by this point. Poor thing. She can also sit up on her own for a decent amount of time before tipping over and face planting into the carpet. Still sweet and angelic, of course.

So I had my nose stud taken out and attempted to get a new one put in. It was not a success. Apparently my buddy Hank in Chicago did a pretty crappy job. It was too high up and he pierced it at a strange angle. The lady at the place I went to was trying to finagle the new stud in the hole as I writhed around in pain, trying not to scream or belt her across the face, when she finally told me it was a lost cause. She said she had been doing piercings for over 10 years (evidently most of them on herself...this lady was like half metal) and had never been not able to get a corkscrew nose stud in a hole. She suggested letting it close up and coming back in a week to get it repierced, which she would do for free. Since I was pretty much half out of my brain in agony at this point, I agreed. That hurt like a mofo, people. Getting the piercing itself was a walk in the park but having insert a "stretching needle" in the hole and wriggle it around just about made me hit the ceiling.
It was pretty cool, because for about 2 hours after getting the stud out, whenever I breathed through my nose I could feel the air whooshing out of that extra hole. I felt very effecient, having a whole extra hole serving a very significant purpose. Get the air in and out, holes!! So I think I'll go back on Friday and get it redone. My friend Heather wants to come with me to watch. She'll be getting pierced, too, although she may not realize it yet.

We're going to an open gym at a gymnastics place today with the playgroup. I'm already nervous. Tate could unleash some serious ass-whupping on innocent children. We'll see how it goes. Pray for me and my little demon. Well, mostly for me, and my rapidly dwindling sanity.