My Family Is Weird

Today Tate came up to me with a handful of Thomas the Train wooden track pieces from his train table. There was a lovely little track set up on that table at one point, then Nora swooped in from the sky and destroyed it like a little baby Godzilla. I kind of expected to see little airplanes buzzing around her head as she tore apart Thomasland, roaring and squealing with delight. Nothing quite like a creature hell-bent on world domination and destruction who's wearing overalls with little hearts and flowers on them. Kind of softens the blow.

Anyway, Tate seemed to be about to hand me all his train pieces and I thought he'd want me to go reconstruct the tracks.

Me: "Do you want Mommy to build you a track, honey?"

Tate, as he makes a sharp left and continues around my chair: "No, it's too hard for you. I'll get Daddy to do it."

Awesome. He thinks a few pieces of wood with a tab on one end and a hole on the other are simply too much stimulation for my feeble mind. Better not strain Mommy's brainpower by asking her to construct an oval!!

Nora has started doing this over dramatic, Oh-Lord-Whatever-Shall-I-Do-Life-Is-So-Hard-For-A-One-Year-Old thing. Whenever I dare to put her down in the family room and walk away to the faraway, unreachable land of Kitchen, she starts wailing and plops down on the floor where she positions herself so she's laying on her stomach with her face buried in the carpet and her arms and legs limp by her sides. Then she screams like a monkey on crack. So we just have this languishing, faceless blob on the floor, shrieking. It's quite funny. Most kids kick and roll around due to the inhumanity of it all, but she just lays there like a paralyzed slug. Well, a slug who's got the lungs of a gigantic rooster.

Let's move on to Eric. He's got curly hair, as many of you know. Now, on a normal day, he keeps it pretty well under control. He throws some gel in it and it looks fine. Today was not a normal day, I guess. It was rainy and damp out, and he forgot to put anything in it after his shower. He also put on a v-neck sweater with a v-neck undershirt under it (he claims that's all that was clean. Whatever). Therefore, you could see his like 4 chest hairs poking out, plus his thin gold chain that he always wears. He looked like this dude:

Seriously. His hair was that high. We went to go pick out new glasses for him and I kept calling him Disco Stu in the store. He thought it was funny for awhile, then he didn't. But trust me, it was pretty freaking funny every single time I said it. I know I laughed. It was either laugh or cringe in embarrassment at being out in public with Q-Tip Man From 1975. I had to stay strong and fight through the potential humiliation.

How I ended up with these flakes in my family, I do not know. Good thing I'm so wholesome and normal. Otherwise who knows what would go on around ere.