Friday, November 21, 2008

Oh Yuck.

So I was browsing around on the internet this morning and read that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had their baby. Yeah, breaking news, I know. But they named the kid Bronx. Bronx Mowgli.

Ok, seriously? Not funny. Who does that to their kid? Who names them after a burough of New York where they tawk like dis and some random Disney character dude? Bronx Wentz. It sounds like a brand of bratwurst or something, doesn't it? Get your Bronxwentz bratwurst!!

There are some horrible names out there. I can't stand when people try to be all unique and special and end up giving their kid some trendy piece of crap like McMadysenKylieeLynn. I swear they're popping up all over. Just add a Mc- or a -son or -lynn onto any name and you've got the perfect sparkly, made-up gobbeldygook name of the day! Damn, my kids could have been Mctatedan or Annoralynnlie. What was I thinking? I totally missed the boat there.

If people want to truly be unique and original, freaking name your kid James or Caroline or something. I bet you anything they'd be the only one in their class, surrounded by Jaidens and Neveahs and Dextons. Pretty soon people will have used up all the somewhat normal place or noun names so we'll have little Carpet Fiber Jones and Sleepy Eye (not kidding, it's a town in MN) Vegas Smith running around. Cause, you know, it's all about being uncommon. Or unreal. Whichever.

Everyone out there should just let me name their kids. I would totally rock at that.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, had to laugh because I am originally from MN and had flashbacks of old "Little House on the Prairie" episodes when I read that comment about Sleepy Eye.

    "Yep, Pa is gonna be making a trip into Sleepy Eye so let's stock up on grain and woolen fabrics for the next 6 months until this frozen piece of tundra we call home thaws enough for us to venture out again in our wagon."

    Pretty sure the dialogue wasn't quite like that, but its the truth.

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