Good Luck With Your Search, Buddy.

Ok, this? Is unreal. This guy is a piece of work. Total douchebag. You gotta read this, but it's looong, so make sure you have a spare 15 minutes or so to devote to the insane craziness. It can't be skimmed, there's just too much good stuff in there to make you wonder is happening to humanity today.
It's funny, in a unbelievably unbelievable way. Cause really, who doesn't want to dictate how many times in a certain period their wife can use the bathroom? Or how long they must be able to walk without needing to drink water?
Unfortunately, I do not meet his requirements. I'm too old and too fat. Poor me. It looks like I do have the correct boob size, though. Holla.